Through The Looking Glass

If you have ever even heard of Alice in Wonderland I hope this title has some relevance to you. If you haven’t watched Alice in Wonderland… well you should watch it. I’ll tell you right now for free it’s on Netflix. Some of you might be thinking it’s a lame, children’s cartoon movie. Well, simply said, Walt Disney Pictures did justice to this story. Before I get way too off topic – I promise this does actually tie into my blog. I’m not just forcing movies on people. Through the looking glass, a metaphor created by Lewis Carroll, entails a parallel and strange world where nothing is quite as it seems. Maybe we can’t all step through looking glasses into parallel universes, but we have all experienced a slightly altered world when we are inflicted by change.

Change is defined as to make or become different. At least according to Merriam-Webster dictionaries. Realistically, I don’t even need to define change because each and every person has been touched by it. Everyone knows first hand what change is. At some, or rather at several points in our lives, we have all experienced change. It can be as simple as getting a new haircut, changing your room colour or switching up the meals you regularly make. Or change can be as drastic as getting a new job across the country, the diagnosis of a chronic illness or a death in the family. Change is perpetual. It is personal. And it is all around us. Change may be a process but it is also the initial onset. Change is the twig that starts the avalanche.

Often times when we configure reasons for paths we chose in our lives we return to instances of change. These are the moments that set everything into action. These moments expose us to different parts ofourselves. They steer the decisions we make and influence the paths we chose. Or at least that’s what most of us think. But maybe we are wrong? Maybe change doesn’t guide our direction; rather it is our new found perspectives caused by change that choose our paths. Change can be viewed as something positive and exciting as well as something scary and unknown. It can be a leap of courage or a forced new endeavor. Either way, for something to be considered change, our psychological self goes through a state of crisis. Everyone has a different severity of this phenomenom but everyone still goes through it. Because change means that you have to move on, either permanently or temporarily, from something or someone that gave you purpose and aspirations.

A few weeks ago came the day where I played my final hockey game, ever, and hung up my skates for the last time. After dedicating years, time and trading moments of my personal life for playing the sport I loved, in just one moment, it all ended. There was no post-season training, no excited anticipation for game days in the fall, no planning activities around already packed school and practice filled days. It was just done. Just like that. You always know that one day, like the blink of an eye, the day will come. This thought comes either as a reassurance on your worst days or as a motivator on your best. But until you are in that moment, you never believe it. The funny thing is, it isn’t just hockey. Somewhere along the way of the 6 am practices, killer bagskates and irreplaceable friendships, hockey becomes part of your identity. What you do, who you are and what you aspire to be. It is what you plan your days around which evidently leaks into your whole life. Losing hockey is hard, but the scary part isn’t just losing hockey, its losing part of your identity. Or rather, modifying your identity.

I think that’s what makes us all struggle with change the most. Whether or not you lost the sport you love, moved across the country or changed your occupation, it all comes down to identity. Change redirects the things that give us direction and purpose.  Personally, I have never found change easy. I also don’t believe that anyone finds change that easy. I just believe that some people are better at embracing it. With respect to those people, I have always admired and have been envious of that ability. You see, accepting change is a skill that is constantly and repeatedly used and developed throughout life. The better you are at embracing change, the easier it is to discover new attitudes, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses that all compose our identity. Change doesn’t take away from who we are; it only allows more opportunities for us to define whom we are. At least that is how I have decided to look at it.

Sometimes, we all need to go through the looking glass to find a strange and mysterious new world to learn something new about ourselves. Life would be too easy if we didn’t right?

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When One Chapter Ends, a Fresh Page is Turned

When one chapter ends, a fresh page is turned… and that fresh page for me just so happens to be a web page. Specifically, a web page for my blog. So why now? And why after all this time? Honestly this could just be a “I’m going to graduate soon and real life scares the crap out of me” kind of crisis. But it’s also because I’ve been wanting to write a blog for a while now. I just kept chickening out. You see, I’m not the best at expressing myself and I’m definitely not the best at feeling vulnerable. For the most part, no one even knows I write.

So why the change? Well it’s a combination of a few different things. The change was actually largely caused by change itself. Recently, I became a graduate of my university hockey team. Losing the sport I love and that I have played for the past 14 years of my life has been an adjustment. This transition finalizes an era in my life. It has made me question who I am without hockey and what other passions I might have. This change is only amplified by the slowly approaching date of my graduation which accentuates these unanswered questions and thoughts in a different light. This whole experience has given me a desire to learn more about myself and find different interests that I didn’t have time to explore before.

So, simply said, one of the heavy weighing reasons why I started a blog now is because I actually have time to put into it. Well at least more than I am used to since I now fall into the category of a NARP (non-athletic regular person). So I figured I might as well fill the void in my life with something I have always wanted to try. So here I am. I may be the worst blogger out there or I might have a knack for it but at least this way I will find out. Lately I have been trying to make time for things I don’t normally do, including things that scare me. I started embracing the opportunities that I usually shy away from because I want to challenge myself. I want to find out more about my passions, likes and dislikes. In the last few weeks, I started to apply myself in situations that were out of my comfort zone. Blogging just so happens to be one of those things.

I have been thinking of different blog ideas and themes for a while now but this one has stuck to me. I knew it was something I wanted to pursue. Maybe because I finally stopped denying that I still have a lot of life to figure out. Maybe it’s because I started realizing that almost everyone, no matter what age, feels the same way. Or maybe it was because I finally figured out that fighting the things we can’t control is helpless and enjoying the moment instead is much more worthwhile. So here’s to blogging, trying new things and sorting out my many thoughts and ideas. Some good, some bad and some potentially just downright strange. Either way it’s all here for your amusement, thoughts and interpretations. So…. here we go!

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